Back home again

Where were we you ask? In Minnesota visiting my sister and BIL. Rob stayed home because he had to work, but the kids and I left on Friday and came back yesterday. My dad came there on Sat. and we barbecued. We also took Kyle to see the new Transformers movie. He thought it was great. It was hotter than hell most of the weekend. Like 100 degrees in the shade. Ugh! It's nice to be back home, but our poor lawn is so dry that it's even more brown than when we left. Rob even ran the sprinklers while I was gone too. That water bill is going to bite my ass! Here are a few random pictures of Kyle fishing in Canada last month, just cuz I like to post pictures. ;)

July 4th photos

As expected, I've got some photos from yesterday to share. The first ones are from the Urbandale parade and the last ones are from the kids doing sparklers at our house.

Once per week?

I remember a time when I had something to say every day, and now I can only come up with something to blog about once a week? That's pathetic of me! ;) I just don't have anything new to say. It is almost July 4th, though, so I'll have some pics from that coming up at least.
We've been going to the pool, hanging out, nothing really out of the ordinary. Emma did say something funny the other day. She likes to tell stories that start with "Once Upon a Time", but in Emma speak it's "Pon a time". The other night, as a bribe to get her to finish her dinner, I told her that I would take her to the park when she was done. That started the storytelling.

Emma: Pon a time, there was a wittle girl and she went to the park. There was a wake and she went swimming in the wake. There was a croc-e-dile and it ate her 'til she died.
Me: That's a terrible story.
Emma: No, it's not.
Me: Yes, it is.....a little girl gets eaten by a crocodile? That's not nice.

A little while later she was getting her shoes on and she must have decided to try and make her story seem happier because she said:

Emma: No, the girl not get eaten, it was her dog.
Me: That doesn't make it any better, it's still a terrible story.

So then, the next day I was talking to my mom and telling her the crocodile story and Emma over heard me. That started her in on a new story:

Emma: Pon a time there was a girl and she went to the park. She got a stick and it hit her in the head and she bleeded.
Me: Is there any story of yours that doesn't end in bloodshed?!

Lately

This weekend my family came to visit. My brother celebrated his 30th birthday and we had a good time making fun of how "old" he is, even though he is the youngest. We went to see Evan Almighty and it was cute. Definitley a family movie, not adult comedy like Bruce Almighty. I also made a good recipe last night that I found from Kraft food and family magazine:

Bacon Cheeseburger Roll-Up

Prep Time: 25 min
Total Time: 50 min
Makes: 6 servings, one slice each


1 lb. lean ground beef
4 slices OSCAR MAYER Bacon, chopped
1/2 cup chopped onions (about 1 small)
1/2 lb. (8 oz.) VELVEETA Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 pkg. (13.8 oz.) refrigerated pizza crust



PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Cook ground beef, bacon and onions in large skillet on medium-high heat until ground beef is evenly browned, stirring occasionally. Drain; return meat mixture to skillet. Add VELVEETA; cook until completely melted, stirring frequently. Cool 10 min.
UNROLL pizza dough onto baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Press into 15x8-inch rectangle. Top evenly with meat mixture. Roll up dough, starting at one of the long sides. Rearrange, if necessary, so roll is seam-side down on baking sheet.
BAKE 20 to 25 min. or until golden brown. Cut diagonally into six slices to serve.

My blog rating-HA!

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

ass (2x) dead (1x)

Mingle²

LOL

Do you know what any of these lines are from? Don't cheat and look them up, either you do or you don't. ;)

"Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean."

"Price check on Vagiclean. Some body's baking bread and I think it's sourdough."

"You are about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop"

Can you believe it?

My boy and the rest of his Mets teammates made it to the little league playoffs. Each night this week they played and each night was "if we win tonight, we play tomorrow", and they kept on winning. I just never expected that on Kyle's first baseball experience. He thought it was quite cool. Tonight was the final game and it was kind of nice because there was only one other game being played, so tons of parking and no line for the concession stand. They played really hard, and kept the other team (who they has lost to twice previously)from scoring the last four innings, but they still lost by 2 runs. They thought second place was pretty cool as they got silver medals and their names announced. Here are a couple of pictures of the team and their medals:

Summa-time

It's officially summertime when we've gotten out the old plastic pool. Here are a few pics of the kids playing "snorkeling":

Water

While scanning through the Toys R Us website for gift ideas for Kyle's upcoming birthday, I came across this in the clearance section, down to $7.99 from $39.99. I wonder why.........



Keep Cool Water Dispenser
by: Direct Marketing Success
Holds up to 8 glasses of cold water. Great for his or her room.Small enough to fit nicely in a little space. Comes with two dispensing knobs....


Manufacturer's Age: 12 years and up

Our Recommended Age: 6 years and up


Ok, first of all, look at how fucking jazzed this kid is to be getting water. "Water...rock on!" Like he couldn't just go into the kitchen and do the same thing. Then, the manufacturer's suggested age is 12 and up. Really? An 11 year old couldn't figure out this highly complicated device? "Ok, I've got my cup, now what do I do?" Wait until your next birthday apparently. ;)

Reality Television

I don't watch reality tv. I like my shows with actual actors. Although, I do watch the occasional celeb-reality show.....second only to a Screech dirty Sanchez caught on film is a fat, pissed off Screech caught on film. Anyhoo, my point is, I don't watch or care anything about American Idol. I know who some of the people are, Kelly Clarkson has a couple catchy ditties, but that's about it. So today while driving that song by Carrie Underwood came on, the one about her boyfriend cheating on her. I'd heard it, but never really listened to the lyrics, until today. Holy hell if that isn't a disgruntled bitch. Apparently someone has been cheated on before. ;) She says some shit about keying his truck and carving her name in the leather seats (the cops will never figure out who did it!) and I was instantly reminded of a Kelly Clarkson video where she trashes the ex boyfriends place while he isn't home. American Idol is breeding some extremely perturbed young ladies.

I need to get my drink on

Hilarious Will Ferrell video:
emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/19484

Craigslist

Check out this winner on Craigslist today. My favorite part is the "cocking" ;)



1981 Jeep Cherokee 4x4 Camo V8 360 Today Only - $350

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-343357120@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-06-02, 11:12AM CDT


This is a 1981 jeep Cherokee. It has a 360 motor, runs and drives but could use a tuneup. The radiator in the jeep is bad. The person who had this before me used some kind of cocking to seal the seam, but it does not hold any more. The best thing would be just to replace the radiator. You can drive it 15 or 20 miles before it will start to get hot but I would not suggest driving it any farther than that. Theres no reason to burn up a good motor. A radiator for this would not cost a much. For an extra $35 dollars i will leave the new battery in it, if you don't want the new battery i will put the old one back in. If you want a cheap 4x4 this ones it. Call me at 641-745-0209 also have a couple others for sale on craigslist. We just need to get rid of some cars we have to many.

Tractor and fishing

I don't think this post could get anymore redneck........
A week or so ago I was at a garage sale where someone was selling a John Deere riding lawn mower....which I refer to as a riding lawn mower, although aficionados tell me it's really a lawn "tractor"....whatever. Anyway, they were selling it for $75. We'd been wanting one since our lot is kind of large by my standards and takes quite some time to mow with the push mower. So after researching new riding lawn mowers and gasping at the price of John Deere, $75 at a yard sale was sounding mighty nice. So after about $40 in parts and a new seat....here is the final, actually working, product:



Yesterday, Memorial day, Rob wanted to take the kids fishing. So we did, even though there is almost anything I'd rather do. Emma was the only one to catch anything but it fell off the hook right as she was reeling it in. We were teasing Kyle that if there were a contest for most weeds caught, he'd win. Although Rob was giving him a run for his money. Then it started to rain, so were were soggy by the time we got back to the car.

Milestones

This week has been full of milestones. Kyle completed 3rd grade, Emma completed preschool and as of yesterday we've been in our house for one year. Wow, time flies.
Yesterday I spent the day scrapbooking and here are some of pages that I completed. A leftover St. Patty's Day, Emma's gymnastics, a farm themed birthday party and SSL.

Emma

Today was Emma's last day of preschool. She wasn't sad because she doesn't really know that she won't be going back there. We've signed her up for a three day per week preschool in Ankeny next year to save money, time, and driving. We loved Meredith Drive, but it just didn't make sense to continue. They had a short presentation where the kids sang a song and lets just say it's a good thing that Emma is a girl because she is extraordinarily flamboyant. She used jazz hands when no one else was moving and then curtsied at the end. Oh Lord, what a ham.
She also had her final tumbling class last week. It was nothing but a bunch of kids doing somersaults and jumping on trampolines, so it was a good thing it only cost $20. Lesson learned on that one.

$3.29

Gas here in Ankeny is $3.29 per gallon. I have a compact, tiny car and it cost $40 to fill it up this morning. That is fucking ridiculous. I can't even imagine how much people with SUVs are paying. Rob's work van cost $80 the other day when it was still $3.09. Thank God we don't have to pay for that one!
On another topic, our neighbors behind us, the ones with the fucked up fence, are finally fixing it. I noticed yesterday that the fence guys were back and were taking down all the chain link. Rob talked to the fence guy and apparently that was just temporary and they are re-doing the wooden slats because they were crooked. I'm still wondering why they would have gone to the trouble of the whole temporary chain link for two months, when they obviously could fix it in one day. Who knows? My ass wouldn't be paying for such a dumb ass waste of money, that's for sure. I couldn't afford it anyway...I've got gas to buy!!!! ;)

Sesame Street Live

I took Emma to SSL this past Saturday. Aside from disliking the venue, it was a good show. She enjoyed herself, but was pissed that I wouldn't buy her an $8 Elmo balloon. Yeah fucking right.

Uppercase Living

Check out this cool little wall saying I got:



It wasn't nearly the piece of cake that the sales person said it was going to be to put up, but still, I like it and think it was worth the effort.
If you are interested the website is www.uppercaseliving.com

Last week

One of my favorite Emma-isms is "last week". Everything in Emma's life happened "last week" according to her. Regardless if it was really 10 minutes ago, or a year ago, when Emma tells the story it will have happened last week.

Stigmata

This is how I found Emma in bed last night:

Baseball, Dad, and flowers

Kyle has been non-stop baseball-ing lately. They play and then games get cancelled because of rain, so then they play make-up games. Woo, it's wearing him out.

"Run, Forrest, Run"


Last night my dad got into town from Arizona. It was chilly too and he was complaining about his old, thin, Arizona blood not keeping him warm. Bring a jacket, dumb ass. ;) We went out for pizza and then back to our place for strawberry shortcakes (which Emma couldn't wrap her head around that we were going to have dessert and not watch a cartoon). He was staying at the Heartland Inn, so we took advantage of the indoor pool and went swimming at 9:00 last night. The kids sure slept well after that.

Yesterday Kyle came home with flowers for me. It was so sweet as he even knew what kinds they were.

It's been quite some time

I went scrapbooking at my friend's house last night for the first time since Feb. It seems like forever since I usually never go a month in between, let alone two. We had a good time and I got all of Easter done and all but one page of St. Patrick's day. Just in time too, because summer picture taking season is right around the corner.

A River Runs Through It

It's been raining here for 2 days. Good for the grass I suppose, but shitty for everything else. There is flooding going on all over the place and Rob has been to house after house with flooded basements and sump pumps that can't keep up. Here is a picture of what the drainage ditch behind our yard looks like:


Oh and while I'm looking at this picture, check out what the people who live behind us did to their fence. They had a nice, wooden privacy fence and hired someone to take off just the back side and put chain link in it's place. Leaving the rest as wood and using the wooden posts. It looks retarded. At first I was thinking that surely it was temporary and they were planning doing something else, but it's been 3 weeks and nothing has changed. Somehow I have to tactfully bring up the subject without them catching on that I think it looks like shit. That will be difficult for me. ;)

My little left fielder

This past Saturday was Kyle's first baseball game. Ever. Pretty much all of the other kids on his team had played before. Kyle had taken t-ball when he was 6, but showed no interest and we never did it again. Then last summer, when my nephew was playing Kyle asked if he could play this year. He even got a glove and bat for his birthday. Rob isn't really into watching baseball on tv and I couldn't care less, so poor Kyle doesn't really have a lot of baseball knowledge. So of course, when he was put on the field, he was in the outfield, but that was fine with him. They did put him at second base for awhile and thank God for the short stop because Kyle really wasn't sure what a second baseman's job is. It really surprised me that even though I tried to make it well known that Kyle had never played before, the coaches.....including my husband, just expected that he would just know what to do. Kyle struck out both times up at bat. He was embarrassed because he swung at every pitch, but I figure eventually he'll hit one. He throws hard, and hits hard, so when he does hit one, it's going to go way out there. Now he just has to hit one. ;)

Disneyworld and Oobi

I can't believe I forgot to post this...I'm going to Disneyworld! I guess with field trips, projects, preschool, baseball, and tumbling, my brain is overloaded. Anyway, my sister called and through her job she got 2 trips to Disneyworld. My BIL can't go because of his job and she invited me. About 4 days over labor day weekend. Just us girls, no kids, or husbands. This is going to be so sweet!
On an unrelated note, Emma loves the Noggin show "Oobi". It's wacky and Lord knows what she sees in it, but she loves to do Oobi impressions. If you aren't familiar, here is what it is:

And here is Emma's version:

Frightening, isn't it? ;)

I have a huge ass crack in my windshield

That's pretty much it. I have a crack that I get to watch spreading daily. Knowing that I don't have the extra $250 I'd need to get it fixed.

I was sitting here trying to think of something to add that wasn't grumpy or depressing when I ran across someone with the screen name "Queefer Sutherland". That is good for at least 10 seconds of laughter.

Spring time, my ass

It snowed yesterday. About 4 inches according to the news. Some of it melted, but some is still sticking around annoying the shit out of me. I planted tulips last fall and they were just starting to come up when all this cold weather happened. I hope they aren't dead. :(
On a happier note, last weekend I went to see two movies....well three actually considering that one was the Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature, Grindhouse. It was full of raunchy, disgusting gore and was great. Rose McGowan had a hilarious machine gun leg. Classic. I've read that most people liked the zombie Rodriguez film "Planet Terror" better, but I was partial to the Tarantino "Death Proof". It was funny and had kick ass women in it. The fake movie trailers they had in between the movies were great too, especially the one called "Thanksgiving". At one point they showed the serial killer fucking a turkey. God damn, I was laughing my ass off.
I also saw "Blades of Glory". Typical, funny Will Ferrell stuff. I'd recommend it.

Local business names that I find funny

"Miller the Driller" and "Doug's Plugs"

Quick Easter pics

We had a fun, windy, busy weekend and here are some highlight Easter photos:

Emmastopheles

Emma has been quite the 4 year old devil lately. While we were at my mom's she had her biggest tantrum ever. While at the video store, of all places. She was pissed off and tossing movies off shelves, screaming, flailing and pounding her fists on the floor. She bruised up my legs from kicking me while I was carrying her out to the car. Then when we were in the car she kept smacking me in the face because I had my hands busy keeping her seat belt on and her in her car seat. She even made my glasses fly off. I put her in my mom's spare bedroom and she was throwing picture frames and even cracked a hole in the sheet rock on the wall. She got a damn good spanking that night. Later on, hours after the commotion, I showed her the bruises on my legs and asked her how many times she thought she had slapped me. She batted her eyes and said all sorrowful "Like, 10". Ohhhhh, what a beast!!!!
Then the other day while I was at the store, Rob had put her in her room for a time out. Unknown to him and to me until we were putting her to bed, she had broken, purposefully, her "Growing up Girls" figurines that my mom had given her every year on her birthday. She broke off their heads and arms and then hid them under her
blankets. So when I turned down her bed, I found them. I was so angry that we took everything out of her room...toy box, bookcase, shelves, clock....pretty much everything but her pillow and blankets for her bed. We even took away her blanket and baby. So she was mighty pissed off. It took her about 45 minutes of screaming and yelling about her stuff before she finally fell asleep. Luckily I was able to glue the figurines back together, but they don't look right. My mom is coming this weekend for Easter and I know she is going to be upset about it. Emma was grounded yesterday, which was no fun as she had nothing to play with and couldn't watch TV. Plus we missed a playgroup, so all day she was carrying on about not being able to see her friends.
Here is a "proof of parent abuse" picture I took of one of the bruises on my leg:

Easter egg hunt and a neutering

Today was our Easter egg hunt with our playgroup friends. Unfortunately it was rainy and yucky so we had to have it indoors, but the kids still had fun. I also took the kids to see the Easter bunny at Walgreens beforehand. Rob didn't go because he was still a little sore from his vasectomy yesterday. It was a sad sight....swollen, bruised, and with a few stitches. I've been affectionately referring to it as "Frankensack" ;)
I've got some pictures to share of the Eastering fun, but none of the balls. Sorry.