Phone books

Because of my industrious and penny pinching ways, I decided to earn some extra cash by delivering phone books this year. I'd done it before back in my college days. Here is a list of differences between delivering phone books then and now:

Then: I was young and in shape
Now: I'm old and flubbery

Then: I had no children
Now: I have a 4 year old "helper"

Then: Filling up my car cost $10
Now: $35+

Then: I was delivering in Ames, where phone books are about 3/4 of an inch thick
Now: I'm delivering Des Moines phone
books that are about 3 inches thick and heavy as shit

Then: $100 seemed like a good pay check
Now: Fuck your measly $100 DEX!